Seeking Perfection

If you look up the definition of perfect you will find this:

Perfect:
-entirely without any flaws, defects, or shortcomings.
-accurate, exact, or correct in every detail.

I have thought, pondered, and asked my Heavenly Father to help me better understand His definition of perfect.
I have so many fears that bring utter despair into my heart. I can't and won't explain them for the biggest fear is that they might come true. I have been blessed, really blessed. I will have had 18 weeks to prepare my heart and to build up strength for his arrival. Some Mothers don't know until their dreams are shattered in a delivery room.

I keep searching and reading wonderful blogs and sites dedicated to wonderful, perfect children. I am thankful for the pictures and the words Mothers share. They bring me much more than they could ever know.

Here, I now set a new definition of perfect. It is a spirit that without having the ability to fully understand physical pain has chosen to remain faithful to Heavenly Fathers plan. It is a child born with a broken heart. It is a spirit that knows that no matter how they try will never be able to say I Love You. It is a spirit that will never take a breath. It is a child born with "defects".

There isn't a "defect" that will ever change my definition. They are all perfect.

Poem for Emily by Jacqueline Dooley

I thought of the minutes before
they said something was wrong,
when all was perfection
and I’d expected
the world
would let me be lucky
a bit longer.
But this is not my misfortune,
though I weep like it is.
No, this is not my misfortune
I’ll remind myself
when I imagine your face
how I wanted it to be.
Whole, in the gentle light
of the birthing room.
I’m so sorry for that false vision
that comes even now
as I learn to love the beauty
of your true face.
When the light hits your face
in four months
we’ll all realize
a new definition of perfect.