Finally, an update...

Geesh!  One would think that I could manage to get my butt in gear and do a little update now and then.

I think a life time of activities have occurred since my last post about Matthew and his ears.  The doctors were really great and his ENT doctor had him scheduled for surgery on November 15th witch was a huge surprise for me.  I didn't think that he would get in so quick but I guess having a little "history" does have its advantages sometimes.  The surgery went well and he was a trooper.  He didn't really do great coming out of the anesthetics all that well and was quickly given morphine for pain.  I was a little shocked to enter the recovery room to find out that he was so medicated and still screaming.  He screamed for a good 45 mins and the nurses were pushing drinks, Popsicle's, even pop.  Matthew would have none of it and really just wanted to sleep so I begged the nurse to let me take him home without the necessary fluid intake before discharge.  Once back home and with Daddy he gladly accepted the juice offered to him and took a nice long nap.  Dad had to stay home with the other kids and see them off to school so he wasn't able to be with Matthew for this surgery.  We have a follow up appointment with the whole cleft team once a month till March, back to being hospital busy for awhile I guess.

My boys Michael and Daniel have been busy with indoor soccer.  Daniel loves it, he has quite a talent for sports in general and has a blast scoring.  He's best scoring of the season was a game a few weeks ago with 6 goals during their 1/2 game!  He is enjoying school and tells his teacher all the time what a smart boy he is.  This little boy needs no confidence building and is quite the ladies man.  He already has a little girl (Paige) kissing him and wanting to hold his at recess.  What can I say, dimples are a girls weakness?? 

Michael however still struggles with soccer.  He likes the idea however doesn't seem to have the confidence and assurance that he needs to be able to stand up to those kids who tower over him or can out play him.  Teaching that is a huge challenge for me and I try so hard to encourage and support him.  Who knows what sport (if any) he will continue with.  Michael's asthma has returned as well as an allergy to peanuts.  I am amazed with how well he is doing in school.  He is so bright and I am so proud of him.

Rebecca has been crazy busy with Nutcracker again this year and preformed in 6 shows, and danced 10 different roles.  She is like the energizer bunny and just keeps going.  She love ballet still and is doing very well.  I am proud of her and enjoy all the time we spend together.  She has quite the personality and beauty to match her sweet spirit.  I can't get over how well she handles her brothers and is asking to start babysitting.  I have assured her that she can start babysitting as soon as she is old enough in a couple of years.  She is doing well in school however has struggled with friends.  I am sure this is that yucky phase that girls seem to go through at her age, its just hard to see her deal with it all. 

My husband and I just celebrated our 12th anniversary and did nothing special.  As in we both forgot until the day after!  We had a good chuckle and went on our way doing the usual family stuff.  I still say one of these years we will get away just the two of us, doing boyfriend and girlfriend stuff.  Don't get me wrong, we do date still at least once a month.  It's just different coming home to a babysitter and life rather than a holiday just the two of you. 

I can't wait to post some Christmas pictures so I will try to get back on here before Easter??? 

Sore Ears

This has been a really difficult week for Matthew.  He caught the cold Daniel was so good at sharing and before we knew it Matthew was fighting fevers, chills, and was so cranky.  I kept the Tylenol and Advil close by as I nursed him back to health, except health has still yet to come.  I took him to the Urgent Care on Friday night and the ER doctor was quite surprised by the severe infection he has in his right ear.  It would appear that the tube has since fallen out and the tube in the left is hanging on by a thread. 
He was put on an antibiotic and given a double dose before we were allowed to bring him home.  The doctor made me promise that if I didn't see him getting better in 24 to 48 hours to bring him back.  Well Sunday morning rolled around and boy was he sick.  Even worse then Friday.  So off to the Urgent Care again to wait, and wait, and wait some more.  By the time Matthew was seen he was screaming and rolling in pain and frustration.  The new ER doctor didn't need more than 20 seconds to decided that Matthew needed pain relief and fast so she ordered some Tylenol and Advil and he was double dosed.  I couldn't help it, I lost it.  I cried and cried.  I thought for sure this woman is going to think I'm crazy, especially when she closed the room door.  To my surprise she was crying with me.  Here was a woman that had never seen me or my son but took the time to hear this mothers heartache for her son.  She wasn't able to offer any sort of miracle, quick cure and I wasn't looking for that.  She offered  something that we don't often see from medical professionals.  A caring heart and time. 
Well his ears are so bad that we are giving him a different antibiotic, his ear drops (a steroid/antibiotic combo) and he has to stay on the double pain killer for awhile.  He as an emergency appointment with his ENT on Wednesday and his pediatrician will see him after his antibiotics are done.

Mr. Imagination

Dear Daniel;

I remember fondly the day you were born.  You came into the world a kicking and a screaming.  You had the sweetest little face and expression and were content to be held.  You were my infant that loved to lay in the bed with Mum and snuggle.  (Not much has changed in that department.)  You have always been such a little character with an amazing imagination.  The stories and things you tell us have always made us laugh.  Take for instance today in the car as your Dad pointed at a fire truck racing down the street.  He mentioned how fast he was going and that it must be an emergency.  You simply corrected him by saying, "No Dad; they're going for donuts". 
You have told EVERYONE you saw or met today that it was your birthday.  You had us sing Happy Birthday 9 times today and have enjoyed every minute of it.  You instructed your older siblings that today was your day to be boss and that they had to listen to you and do everything you say.  You also told them that all the toys in the whole house belonged to you.  It's a good thing they are so patient with you. 
You are a whopping 32lbs and are about as tall as a grasshopper.  You are tiny my friend but your spirit is great.  You have been sent here for an amazing purpose and I can't wait to watch you grow and live an extraordinary life.  I love you will my whole being.  Thank you for being my little monster, my little comedian, my Daniel.

All my love;
Mom

Happy Birthday Mr. Matthew

"Motherhood is about raising and celebrating the child you have, not the child you thought you would have. It's about understanding that he is exactly the person he is supposed to be. And that, if you're lucky, he just might be the teacher who turns you into the person you are supposed to be,"

Joan Ryan, "The Water Giver".

 

 

Matthew Age 2

(Photo courtesy of the Alberta Children's Hospital Foundation)

 

 

Matthew, You my darling son have taught me lessons that I don't think I could have learned with out you in our family. You have softened my heart, opened my eyes, and have given me a testimony of miracles.  You are my living miracle and I thank Heavenly Father everyday for his loving care, his mercy, and the power that comes from prayers and blessings.  You are a light that shines so bright and is noticed by all who meet you.  You are adored and loved by your older brothers and sister.  You fill our home with laughter and joy beyond measure.  Thank you for being so brave and having such a wise and willing spirit.  Thank you for being my son, my angel, my strength.  Love always, Mom.

 

**Quote taken from Caleb's blog.  Need inspiration?  Check out his story.**

We're having SO much FUN!!!

Playing in the lake off the back of Grandpa's boat

Sitting back while enjoying a ride around the lake

It's a crime to look this cute in life jacket orange

Boating, so.much.fun.

Spending the day at the ball park, Go! Vipers Go!

Sitting by the fire after a bike ride.  Boy someone looks thirsty!

A Star is Born

Yay for Matthew!!
We have been asked by The Alberta Children's Hospital Foundation if Matthew could come in and do a photo shoot.  These pictures would be used in publications, invitations, and promotional advertising.
I am overwhelmed by it all, not the photo shoot or helping out this great organization.

I knew the instance he was placed in my arms that I loved him.  His plastic surgeon even told me that he didn't worry about the Mother of a cleft baby, Mothers just love.  I was glad he was right, I did love Matthew unconditionally.  I loved his cleft, his widesmile, his amazing spirit that fills a room when he shines.  Then again I am his Mother. 
I have been told over and over by strangers how gorgeous his eyes are.  How amazing his lashes are and what a handsome little boy he is.  His pre-lip repair pictures are hanging in several rooms at his dentist's procedure rooms.  Could others see what I could?  I disbelieved and doubted when people commented on his looks.  Did they see his scars?  Did they know about his cleft, his flattened nose?  Were they just being polite but really thinking something different? 

I now have changed my outlook, of course people see what I see.  They even see beyond what I see.  I may still notice the properties that have been defined by his cleft but others see a gorgeous little boy.  A little boy so full of life, a survivor, a fighter.  So world, look on and see what an amazing little boy he is.

Busy life

I can't believe it has been so long since I last posted anything on here.  It would seem my poor blog has suffered some serious neglect this past year.  Yikes, time to get my butt in gear. 
Life in our home has been rather busy lately.  The kids are winding down the school year and it always seem to bring a whack load of extra stuff for me.  Tonnes of field trips, special lunches, class potlucks, memory books, soccer, ballet etude...  I am SO excited to have the kids home and ALL MINE for the next two months.  We get to "fly by the seat of our pants" and have fun.  Yippee!!

We do have a few things coming up that will effect our usually camp until we drop but we should get lots of trailer time and I can't wait.

Kid run down:

Rebecca
She has finished another year of dance and completed her RAD ballet exam with distinction.  This is the highest level you can achieve and I am so proud of my little dancer.  She still has such a passion for ballet and amazes me with her dedication.  She is growing up so fast and she is now sporting her first pair of "heels".  She still likes to spend lots of time with me and she is such a big helper.  She had her eyes tested again and she does require glasses.  So this summer we will be spending time looking for the perfect pair.  Shopping with her is sometimes not so fun.  Like a true woman she changes her mind a gazzion times before she settles on the finial option.  Sigh, wish me luck. ;)  She has an amazing desire to attend church and to read her scriptures.  I will often catcher her reading them and it makes my heart smile.  Rebecca also will clean and organize her room without me having to ask.  She takes pride in her book shelf and calls it her library.  She even makes her brothers sign out books.  She is starting to help me cook and likes to help me cut the vegetables.

Michael
He played another season of soccer this year and it was a rough go in the beginning.  After awhile he really has started to enjoy and have fun.  Its good to see him make new friends and all those worries of him not being social as a toddler are out the window.  He makes friends easily and has great phone mannerisms.  He has done really well in school this last term and finished strong.  He is reading at a grade 4 and 11 months reading level.  He loves to read and loves history just like his dad.  Michael has become such a great brother to Daniel and it is nice to see them play together.  It seems like the fighting and head butting between them has slowed down.  He loves his dogs and is convinced he's a great dog trainer. 

Daniel
Boy, where to start with Daniel.  He is my everyday joy, he is so fun to be around.  He makes me laugh and comes up with some humdinger things sometimes.  He also played soccer this year and had so much fun. He was the smallest little guy on his team but that didn't hold him back.  He quickly made friends and the bigger kids quickly started to help him and protect him on the field.  He was able to score in one game and was so proud.  He was always keen to play and would often ask me if it was a soccer day.  Daniel is getting ready for kindergarten in the fall and is excited to go to school with the older kids.  His uniform looks so funny on him as he is still so tiny.  He is excited to go camping and giggles every time we talk about going to the trailer.

Matthew
It's hard to believe that we will be celebrating his 2nd birthday soon.  He is doing so well and I am so thankful to have the support of the hospital.  His language development is doing really will and he talks up a storm.  He says; Mommy, Becca, Daniel, Michael, Teika, Drink, Blankie, Help me, Up, More, Eat, Stinky, Crappy, Car, Choo Choo, No, Yes, Coming, Lets go, and many other things.  We are working on building strength in his legs and arms.  He still tends to be quite week but things are getting better.  He is cutting lots of teeth and we are waiting for his bottom canine to complete the bottom row.  He is still missing two teeth on the top where his cleft is so that is still a mystery if he will or where he will get them.  There isn't any room so hopefully if they do come they won't cause too much problems.  He did get his formal allergy testing done and it was confirmed that he has a dairy protein allergy so we are now trying to get funding for a special milk for him. 

Me
I have been on a emotional rollercoaster the last little while and have had major problems to deal with.  I don't want to put it on my blog as it is quite personal and I don't feel this is the place to talk about it.  I have done allot of praying and was even able to attend the temple which helped allot.  I am feeling allot better about the issue and am still focused on bettering the situation.  In addition to this problem I was let go from my job.  That alone was tough and I still haven't really talked about it with others.  It just didn't work out which saddens me cause I really enjoyed the work, just not the juvenile behaviour that was going on in the office.

Too Sweet...

...or was that chicken?? 

Sitting on the couch the other day Daniel crawls up on my lap.  As we are chatting and snuggling he's biting/sucking on his index finger.  He looks at me rather shocked and says "Mom! I taste sweet, like sugar!"  I giggle at his comment and he goes on tasting himself until he turns to me again, "No, I think I taste like chicken".  I couldn't contain myself, I munched on his belly causing a roar of laughter from both him and I.

Moments like this are priceless and I wouldn't ever want to miss them.  I am humbled to be the mother to my four amazing kids.  They fill my days with joy and I am so blessed. 

Treat Thiefs

We have a space set aside in the basement for food storage and this happens to be the spot I put the lunch snacks.  It's in the basement for one reason, I have snack thief's!  When I first started putting them downstairs in September not a soul would enter the dark and scary place except me.  Amazingly the snacks lasted longer and I was only having to buy them once a month or when I was even stocking up on the expensive treats when they went on sale.


The thief's are back.  :(


Some how the dark and scary place became worth the stress of racing as quickly as possible to get the goods.  So far they have been busted frequently as I can hear their feet scrambling on the stairs coming up.  You see once they pull the light chain the basement becomes dark and heaven forbid they be down in the basement in.the.dark!


Now where to find a new hiding place...sigh.

Doors and Windows

Our little family has seen some major changes the past few weeks.  It wasn't too long ago that my husband and I talked a lot about our future and what kind of changes we needed to undergo to ensure our family will be taken care of.  You know, retirement stuff.  9 years ago after the twins were born we decided that my dear husband would work two jobs in order to have me stay at home.  It was cost effective at the time as my job didn't pay a salary worth putting two kids into daycare.  Fast forward 9 years and 2 more kids, things are starting to look a little different.  My husband is tired of working two jobs.  I am tired of parenting by myself.  So after much prayer I applied for a job that seemed perfect on paper.  I have written a 5 hour profiling exam, given an 1.5 hour panel interview, spent 1 week in classroom training, had 3 shift shadows, and now I am done.  I am now an Emergency Communications Officer. 
I have always loved my job as a mom, I was born to be a mother.  It was all I ever wanted.  I still would love to be able to stay home full time but the times are a changing, so I will change.  One day, my husband will retire and I will have to be the major bread winner for the family.  This job will allow me to do that.  There are many opportunities, doors and windows that will allow the Lord to continue to bless us. My heart is full, I am blessed, opportunities are opening. 

Remembering & Hoping

Growing up as a young girl I remember an uncle coming and visiting us often.  He was my Father's youngest brother and its quite amazing to me how I still remember the silliest things.  His dog, this facial hair, his kind smile, and how he always smelled of cigarettes.  I remember the drive to and from Montreal to my Grandfathers funeral.  He would buy me treats in the gas stations if I didn't tattle on him to my Dad for smoking in the car while my Dad slept.  As I grew older I started to understand that he was a troubled soul who fought many demons.  He would come to my Dad in times of desperation and in times where he needed someone to lean on.  He floated in and out of our lives, always leaving fond memories for me.
As a girl of 12-14 years old, he came back.  This time he wasn't alone and came with a woman who had two young girls.  He had changed, he was in love.  The two girls filled a major part of his heart and their Mother was good for him.  They were married and my parents put on a small little reception for them.  It didn't seem to be too long before he was to become a father for the first time.  A little boy was born and again, he seemed to change.  We all were happy that he had finally been able to stay "clean" and that life was good for him. 

Then it all fell apart. 

His demons returned and his new wife, the two girls, and his pride and joy left his life.  My Dad helped him for a while with the supervised visitation that he had with his son.  My Dad got him yet another job.  Everyone prayed that somehow he would be able to fight and overcome the drugs.  It didn't happen for him and he died a few years back. 

Alone. 

 His body layed alone in his apartment before someone even noticed he wasn't around.  To this day it breaks my heart to think of him, and his son. 
I wonder if my cousin knows just how much his Dad loved him.  Was he old enough to remember the silly things like me?  Does he still see his smile when he closes his eyes?  I have often wanted to contact him, I see his profile on Facebook.  Would it be beneficial to him?  To me?  He was and is still loved by his Dad.  I hope he knows that, I hope his Mother told him. 

Is there an end?

When I tucked Daniel into bed tonight I told him to sleep right away and not to play.  He asked why and I told him we were doing something fun in the morning, to which he replied "are we going to the beach?"  Oh boy Daniel how I wished we could go to the beach.  It has been darn cold here and I am going a little crazy with feeling cold all.the.time.  I have even dreamed of packing my family up and moving to a tropical island and living in a tent just to escape all of this. 

One day spring will come, then summer and I will then take my little boy to the beach.  Apparently he's a good-er surfer.  I heart you Daniel.

Green Angels

I can hardly believe all the love and support that has been shown towards our family.  Especially in the way of donations for the Alberta Children's Hospital Foundation.  My sisters did put on an amazing card making fundraiser and we had a good turn out.  There were people who came that none of us even knew.  Talk about amazing!  From the website donations and donations made at the card making event I am super excited to take $844.00 to the hospital tomorrow.  I am also aware of one $200.00 donation made by my husbands employer over the phone during our interview.  We met our goal, over $1000.00 was donated in Matthew's name.  Thank you everyone.

It wasn't a big secret that I was nervous about doing the live radio interviews and I didn't end up getting a preview of the questions that would be asked.  Once checked in and sitting down at a table clearly marked reserved for live families.  I was quickly told that the first radio station was ready for us and had me uncomfortably close to a huge microphone.  The radio lady, Lexi was super nice and we jumped right into things.  I was more choked up than I had planned and I felt it came across that way.  It was a good interview and I was able to get a glass of water before my next show time. 
That one was fantastic.  The biggest difference was just as I sat down in front of this mic in the corner of my eye I saw a "sea of green".  No I wasn't given a sedative, it was ALL of Matthew's dental team.  Just as they did back in August of 2009, those friendly, comforting, smiling faces were there.  They lifted me and gave me the courage to tell the thousands of listeners all about Matthew and the amazing people that have forever changed our lives.  After wards they waited by the entrance to the blocked off area and I couldn't help but hug and cry once again on their shoulders.  This time it was tears of great appreciation.  God sent these amazing people into Matthew's life and I truly love this hospital and everyone that is a part of Matthew's care. 

Matthew had an appointment with his dentist just a few days earlier and we did find out that Matthew has some issues concerning his bite.  Not a huge surprise for bilateral kids, or for Matthew as you can already see where it has effected his appearance somewhat.  It also has effected his ability to eat some things.  It just was something that burned a bit to hear. 

Here is the story that was shared on the Radiothon website:

During a routine ultrasound, Amanda and Cesar learned that their baby boy would be born with a cleft palette.  They were understandably upset and emotional but were determined to tackle what had to be done.  They had appointments at the Cleft Palete Clinic at the Alberta Chidren's Hospital before their baby was even born where they were assigned a social worker, learned about the procedures and surgeries that would fix their child’s palete.  They were even given special feeding bottles. Amanda remembers a nurse trying to reassure her at the time by saying, “I think cleft children are beautiful and you’re going to miss it when it’s gone.” She remembers feeling reassured by that kind of compassion, but thinking I’ll never miss a cleft palete.  Matthew was born with a bilateral cleft (two slits) in his lip. The gaps in his nose and palete were very severe.  And Amanda thought her son was beautiful.  The nurse had been right.  Matthew would now endure a 4 1/2 month correction that would consist of wearing a NAM device – an oversized retainer – for 24 hours a day.  The device would push his lips, palette and nose closer together so surgeons could then perform the two operations that would give him a “normal” face.  The first surgery was a lip repair at 5 months and the second was to close his palette (roof of his mouth) at a year old.  Today, people can’t tell that anything was ever wrong with Matthew.  Amanda thinks back to the days of him having trouble feeding as a newborn because he couldn’t make the suction action, and then finally progressing to solids with every spoonful coming back out his nose.  If he sneezed, food would literally go everywhere.  The family put a funny spin on a situation that could have been sad and overwhelming and Amanda will tell you that the people at the Alberta Chidren's Hospital helped the whole family to cope with all that had to happen.  Matthew will need at least one more surgery when his adult teeth come in which will require a bone graft from his hip to rebuild the gumline.  His mum says that no one at the Children’s is allowed to retire until these surgeries are complete!!

Please and Thank You!

Here is the link to our Matthew's fundraising page.  Please help us reach the $1000.00 goal to bring more amazing smiles to kids' faces.

http://www.childrenshospital.ab.ca/site/TR?px=1060362&fr_id=1120&pg=personal

Much Love!
Amanda

Exciting Times

I am very excited and honoured to be participating in this years annual Alberta Children's Hospital Foundation radiothon.  The foundation called several months ago and the time has flown by and on Feb. 10/11 I will be doing 2 live radio interviews sharing Matthew's story with thousands of listeners on 2 radio stations.  I will quickly admit to being very nervous about the whole live thing but I can talk forever about this hospital and Matthew.  It wasn't so long ago that I wrote this post about Matthew and I really am honored to be able to give a little back.  If my sharing Matthew's journey helps soften the hearts of those willing and able to donate, bring it on.  Every single dollar helps.
The day before on Feb. 9/11 from 12:00pm - 9:00pm my sister Natasha who is an amazing Stampin Up! demonstrator will be holding an open house fundraiser in her home in honour of Matthew.  I will be posting the flyer here on my blog but please also check out her website and watch for details.  If you are interested in making a donation in Matthew's name or would be interested in coming to this fundraiser (we will be making cards and will be having a small silent auction) or would like to donate a silent auction item please leave a comment and I will respond to you personally.

A Place to Land

When we bought our house over 5 years ago the front yard was over grown, badly full of thistles and weeds.  The grass was over two feet tall and you couldn't even tell there was a small flower garden.  There was a large and small ceder tree planted on either side of the flower bed.  As I pulled and weeded, mowed and raked I gathered all the loose and fallen cedar bits that surrounded them.  The smaller Cedar was no taller than I and was sickly.  The larger one was full and about 6 feet tall.  I hated them.  I thought they looked awful and I was sure they were going to be pulled out and replaced with something else.
I left them be, I started to care for them.  They were watered, fertilized, groomed, and shortly they began to fill out and grow.  Not too long after this I noticed an abundance of little birds in our yard.  I could hear their songs in the mornings and it didn't take me long to discover the several nests that were made inside of the larger tree.  Over the years at any given time you will find at least twenty of these little birds huddling inside the tight branches. 
Last spring the tree's didn't get new growth.  In fact they were starting to look ill.  I fertilized, watered, and trimmed them.  After a couple of bad hail and wind storms it became clear that the Cedars were not going to survive all they were enduring.  I had come to love my now 8 foot and 14 foot trees.  I called an arborist and they came and confirmed what I had thought, they were dying and would soon no longer have any green left on them.  He quoted a price to have them removed but we decided to wait awhile. 
Yesterday I needed a time out.  Mommy/wife needed to take a step out of the front door to cool down, to take a few deep breaths and find myself.
There on the front step in the -22 degree weather I noticed a little movement in the now mangled looking tree.  They were there.  They hadn't flown south, the little birds were hiding, huddling in the branches.  I couldn't help myself as the tears poured out of my eyes.  I thought of the upcoming spring and how the trees needed to be removed.  How could I?  I immediately thought of my Father in Heaven.  How many times has he watched me find comfort and refuge in place he knew I couldn't stay?  Knowing the struggle I would face he still sometimes needs to cut the branches away and force me to stretch my wings and fly. 
I am in that place, the branches are cut.  The tree is falling.  I am scared to trust that my wings will carry me to another safe place to land.  I am not a person who leans on others.  Not even my husband.  I don't have close friends.  I am guarded, always have been.  I come across very abrupt and over powering.  I put up big walls, I am safe inside them.  I now am watering, fertilizing, and caring for soul.  I pray and find refuge in the scriptures.  I read talks and listen to music to lift my soul.  There is a season for everything, this is a season to help me learn to fly.

Baby Steps and Little Sips

I was sitting in church today watching Matthew toddle around the back of the room when an older lady turned to me and said "You must be elated watching every little step, every single progress that little boy makes".  There must have been a look on my face because I was thinking about how proud I was of him.  Yes, my heart is overwhelmed when Matthew does something he has been struggling learning to do.  Take walking for example, he took his first steps on Dec 18th.  We have been going to OT with him for a few months and Matthew has been doing things his way.  (This doesn't surprise anyone, I'm sure his hospital chart say: Matthew's way or the highway.)  His therapist was watching Matthew play around the room walking on his knees having a great time.  Every time he was put on his feet he would let his legs go week until he was down and able to toddle off.  She couldn't help but chuckle as it was like he didn't even know he had feet and what they were for.  I can't wait to head back this week to show her all the progress he has made. 
Another great feat for Matthew came this week while I was at lunch with my Mom, Daniel and Matthew.  We were at a new little burger joint and I had forgotten Matthew's bottle at home.  At lunch he wanted to have a drink and he wasn't happy about the sippy cup of water I was offering him and kept pointing to my pop.  So knowing that he would only get frustrated trying the straw I held it down.  I was shocked to see that Matthew was able to get a little suction on the straw and was moving the pop up and down.  So I started to make kissing sounds while he watched and sure enough the little man sucked the pop right up inside his mouth and darn near choked to death.  I was so shocked and amazed that I literally squealed with delight and clapped my hands.  I am sure everyone around us thought I was crazy being so happy my baby was partaking of soda pop.  He had a few more drinks and then was happy to continue on with his lunch.  Triumph, he again did something that a doctor, specialist, therapist, nurse told us he wouldn't or couldn't do.  I drove from the restaurant to a Walmart and bought him a little plastic sippy cup and put his bottles in a plastic bag, ready for the garbage.  We are done and I am thankful not to purchase another $20 bottle.
So yes, I am truly elated when I watch him.  He completes our family and we are all so proud of him. 

Out with the old, In with the new.

It seems remarkable to me that another year has passed and we are now facing a brand new one.  Our Christmas was nice and we spent the holidays with extended family and nursing a few coughs and colds.  Luckily nothing to serious but it did put a few little ones in a cranky mood for a few days.  I was so happy to have the kids home and playing with each other.  They are all such good friends but by the end of it they were all ready to get back into the old routine.  Having them all at home and wearing regular clothing it sure reminded my why I LOVE school uniforms!  Before they all headed back to school I had 14 loads of laundry, yes I said 14.  I couldn't believe it, granted I did have 2 loads of towels and a load of bedding but seriously 14.  It took me forever to get it all done.  Another epiphany is that my kids need to help out Mom a little more around the house.  They are really great when I ask them to do things but lately it just seemed like all I have been doing is nagging.  So I put the old Excel skills to use and made a chore chart for the kids.  It has gone over really well and I feel so much better not nagging the kids everyday.  They see what is on the chart and go and do it.  Child labour, it's bliss.  hehehe

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to your family from ours.

Growing

Last Sunday our kids had their Sacrament meeting presentation and I was so happy when my dear husband asked the kids of he could come and watch them.  I was something he did on his own and it meant alot to me.  Our twins were stunning and Daniel was so cute.  This was his first presentation so he was quite reserved.  After we dropped the kids off at their primary classes and I took Hubs home.  While in the car for the 5 minute trip Matthew fell asleep so I held him in my arms in the lobby instead of going to class.  After awhile he woke up and was restless so I decided to take him into the nursery.  The nursery is a class designed for children aged 18 months to 3 years old.  It's a laid back type of atmosphere where the kids get to play, have a small lesson, eat a light snack and maybe do a craft.  Matthew is 18 months in February so I thought it would be interesting to see his reaction to the other kids.  He was so small crawling around the floor happy to play with different things.  The beach ball was a hit and I'm sure he would have kept it a little longer if it wasn't snagged by another little kid.

Watching the other kids play, especially another little girl Matthew's age I really started to wonder if nursery was a good idea for him.  He is delayed and I don't really notice it until we get around kids his age.  There are times when I know his delays could cause a problem.  Take for example snack time.  The kids sit around a little mini table with little mini chairs.  They get a snack, usually cheese, apple slices, and a cracker or cookie on a paper towel.  They also get a small paper cup of water to drink.  Matthew will eat the paper towel.  He can't sit on his bum he sits on his knees, so the chair will be a problem.  He doesn't walk, he doesn't talk, he can't drink well from a cup, he can't feed himself his bottle, he is still such a "baby". 
I know that we have several months before he gets to go and alot of development can happen during this time.  I'm hoping that he, okay that I will be ready for him to go when the time comes. 

Strange

I hate the word fixed.  You fix broken things, Matthew wasn't broken.  I am happy that his lip and palate repair are behind us, it just doesn't seem real right now.  I still get feelings like this shouldn't be happening to us, to my baby.  I listen carefully to the little sounds he makes, does it sound different?  What does he feel?  Does he feel strange? After 13 months of looking into my babies mouth it seems strange to see his palate closed.  I know his surgery is called a palate repair and that it is now "fixed" it just seems weird. 

There you go, a bit of crazy for the day.

Remember

While out camping this year we took the kids to a provincial historical site.  There was a small hike around the parameter so we grabbed the kids and one old squeaky stroller for Daniel.  We had stopped at one of the information signs along the path and while the twins read it out loud for Daniel I turned and saw this:

I was completely amazed at what my eyes were seeing.  This picture was taken with my iPhone and I was so glad it turned out good.  It is something I want to look at over and over again.

Not long down this path in a small clearing of trees and bushes was this plaque. 

Wow, the tears of gratitude came to my eyes and I was short of breath.  This year Remembrance Day seems to be a little more special, a little more close to my heart.

Maybe it because without the service men and women of this country I could enjoy moments like this.

Thank you.

Big life for a tiny dog

This is a picture of my little Casper taken this past summer while camping.  Little did I know that this little boy was very sick and would soon depart from me.  Casper had liver disease that went unnoticed until last week.  I held my sweet boy as he took his final breath and he will forever be missed.

Thankful

"In truth a family is what you make it. It is made strong, not by number of heads counted at the dinner table, but by the rituals you help family members create, by the memories you share, by the commitment of time, caring, and love you show to one another, and by the hopes for the future you have as individuals and as a unit."

- Marge Kennedy

Post-Op

It's hard to believe that three weeks have already passed since Matthew's surgery.  It all went well and his plastic surgeon was happy how things went.  Matthew did end up needing new ear tubes as his old ones were getting ready to fall out and his ENT doctor didn't think it was a good time to try Matthew without them.  Matthew has had 6 ear infections since last December so here's hoping with the palate repaired we can move past that gross ear draining bit.  Matthew had a hard time coming out of the anesthetic and was quite irritable for a while.  Once they got his pain medication under control he seem to settle in my arms.  He spiked a fever and his blood pressure was low for a few days but they were able to push fluids and keep him comfortable.  We came home after 5 days and he has been getting better and better everyday.  It was heartbreaking to see all those stitches in there and I was crying with him.  I couldn't believe how different and sore the inside of his mouth looked.  His outer face was a bit swollen and of course he was spitting blood for two days. He is almost back to himself and the stitches in his mouth are slowly dissolving.  It's good and a relief to know that he is done for awhile and won't have to have anymore surgeries for a few years.  He has endured lots and I am so proud of him.

This picture is really dark but we were keeping it quiet and comfortable for him, besides it was taken by my iPhone.

A Big Day

Today my sweet Matthew will have his palate repair. There are so many emotions flowing through my body that I sometimes can't breathe.  I am fighting to stay strong for my older kids who cry at the thought of Matthew's discomfort.  They tell me how much they will miss him during his hospital stay.  Tonight the twins came over to me and hugged me.  Little did they know it was them who was giving strength to my weakening knees. 

Breathe.

Fabulous Four

What's better than a three year old?  A four year old!  Our little monster is celebrating his birthday today.  Daniel is quite the little character.  He always has been and seems to be picking up speed as he grows.  He is full of life and has the best, and really it is the best belly laugh.  When ever something strikes him as funny, I can't help but laugh along with him.  He is sweet and compassionate.  He loves to play with his toys, and his older brothers toys.  He likes cars, especially Lightning McQueen.  He loves Toy Story and he really thinks his Woody, Buzz Lightyear, Jessie, and Bullseye come to life when he sleeps.  He love his Grandma and if he doesn't see her for a few days he gets quite sad.  He loves McDonald's fries.  If you ask him what he wants for lunch its almost always "Donalds - Fries and Pop".  Daniel is afraid of the dark, so he has to have a light on when he goes to sleep.  Funny thing is he puts his blankie over his eyes.  Speaking of blankie, it is with him all day long.  Not very often will you see him in the house without it.  It's quite funny when he tells his blankie to stay in the house while we go out.  He tells his blankie not to eat his snacks.  Daniel is little.  He knows this and will often say he's not tall.  He may not be tall, and he may sometimes be naughty...but I love him to bits.  I am proud of him, he is my little Monster.
Happy Birthday Baby!!

366 Days

Today is your day, a day of celebrating. You have accomplished so much already in your first year and have endured many difficult trials. You are simply amazing and I am honoured to be your mother. I think a lot about the day you were born, so much uncertainly, a lot of fear. However the moment I heard your cry break through the eerie silence of the delivery room my heart was calm. You are loved and cherished, you are a miracle and I thank God everyday that you are here with me.

Baby mine, don't you cry

Baby mine, dry your eyes

Rest your head close to my heart

Never to part, baby of mine

Little one when you play

Don't you mind what you say

Let those eyes sparkle and shine

Never a tear, baby of mine

If they knew sweet little you

They'd end up loving you too

All those same people who scold you

What they'd give just for

The right to hold you

From your head to your toes

You're not much, goodness knows

But you're so precious to me

Cute as can be, baby of mine

Happy Birthday Little Gift!
 12 facts all about you:


You crawl

You burp, cough, and sneeze on command...so cute!

You sit

You can eat “cookies” all by yourself

You can stand up on furniture

You can spit

You love wrestling with the big boys

You wave bye bye and hello

You can say nummy nummy nummy

You clap

You can throw toys

You pat, pat, pat mom‘s back when cuddling.

Follow Me?

So see that side thingy down to the right, the one that says Followers?  Come on, I know you see the "Followers" side thingy.  Soooo, please let me know your here by signing up to follow me.  I feel rather pathetic only seeing two people.  ;)

What do you get for signing up?  Nothing...okay not really.  You get to see your little face pop up every time you come and see what I have to say.  Not that I'm promising anything really interesting but I might make you laugh now and then.  (Have you met my kids??)

Happy Blogging!

Stop the Clock!

I am so not ready for September to come and I can't believe that we are almost half way through Augest.  I am having such a great time with my kids at home and not having to worry about school, homework, ballet, cubs, and ugh... lunches.  I am also trying really hard to forget that Matthew's surgery is coming up so fast and I am not prepared to deal with it yet.  Oh I should mention that my baby is turning 1 this month!!!  Where did the first 11 months of his life go?  Where is the justice in all of this?  Is there a way we can pause this month for a little while longer??

sigh...