FYI

Just in case you were wondering the following is a list of things NOT to say to a parent of a child born with a cleft. (Lip or palate.)

1. They can operate, right?

2. Poor baby, what causes that?

3. That looks just awful.

4. He'll look so good once that is fixed.

5. Oh, he has a harelip... (Harelip is a derogatory term.)

6. How soon can they fix that?


This is just a small list of things that have been said over the past 8 weeks of Matthew's life. Another question I don't like is when people ask how he eats. I told my husband on our date the other night that if another stranger asks this, my reply will be... with his toes. We laughed and behaved our selves when 10 minutes later the restaurant manager asked. We answer all questions honestly and don't really mind if people are kind.
It does however bother me if parents or other uninformed adults answer questions on my behalf. Take for instance I was talking with a group of ladies and a child came up and asked what had happened to Matthew. Before I could open my mouth another lady piped up, His lip is a bit broken...the doctors will fix him. Ahh excuse me??? Last time I check he wasn't or isn't broken.

We have our surgery date booked for Matthew's up coming lip repair. To be perfectly frank, I am not excited that it is so soon. I love Matthew just the way he is. His nurse told me before he was born that I will miss and morn his widesmile. I didn't believe her...until now. I am a mother of 4 beautiful and gorgeous children. Each one of their smiles have burned into my very soul and I adore them.