Bits

Matthew is now 8lbs 5oz. Come on everyone lets cheer!!!

Michael has an allergy to something and has broken out in hives all over his body.

Rebecca learned that she can have the office call home when she is "not feeling well".

Daniel is such a little character. I love how he sings and dances the whole day through.

My DH let me go to bed first last Friday night while he stayed up with Matthew until his next feed. I "heart" him!

I made banana muffins today and a homemade meal.

Matthew smiles and coos.

Michael calls his little brothers his little Dumplings, I am his big Tomato.

Rebecca is so keen when it comes to dancing. She even asked for an extra part in the Nutcracker. (No, I didn't encourage it. It was all her.)

Daniel held my hand and told me it was okay while my Dr. checked my section sight last week. Daniel kept saying, "It's okay Mommy. I'm here, I'm here".

My DH got the kids ready for school earlier this week while I sat and pumped for our Matthew. I love how much he supports my pumping.

I haven't cried all week.

My Head is Pounding

I can't believe that we are already into October. It seems so surreal that 7 weeks have passed since our baby joined our family. I came to realize this week after a few shed tears that I am missing so much of Matthews infancy. It's been a hard week for me. On Friday Matthew weighed in at 8 lbs, 1oz. Not a big change since I last reported his weight on this blog. (He was 7lbs, 7 oz on Sept. 21) Sense my frustration???



On a grouchy note:
Sometime ago I sat in front of a woman. It was known to her that I had challenges with Daniel not eating and gaining weight. (He was failure to thrive due to early onset of Asthma.) She still had the nerve to say the following: "Any idiot can feed a baby". To which I didn't reply then. Now, if I had the chance to rewind and sit in front of her again...I'd say SCREW YOU!

All done. Gone to feed and cuddle my baby.

Bringing Home Baby

The day we brought Matthew home I came home with two babies. I "loving" refer to the second baby as Bertha. You see baby Bertha is very important, however try as I might can not seem to find much affection for her. She is rather heavy and can't come with us when we venture out. Still here she is sitting in to the left of my rocking chair. The same chair I plant my bottom in every time my little Matthew needs to eat or just when he needs to snuggle. Without Bertha, Matthew would not have the opportunity to "breastfeed". For this alone I am grateful to have her home with us for as long as we need her.

Changes

There is one thing for certain in life, change happens. Here is our little Matthew three days old to five weeks old.

He is still a tiny might and he sure lets us know when the stars are not aligned to his liking. Life has not been easy for him but he sure is one tough kid. He meets his team at the hospital once or twice a week. During one of those visits we came really close to having to have him admitted. I thank my lucky stars that the hospital was full and because he showed some improvement in the ER we were able to come home. His diagnosis, he has had an allergy to milk. More specifically to the protein in the milk. As a result he was put on a special formula that is awful. This stuff smells so bad going in and coming out isn't pleasant either. We have been able to put him back on my milk as long as I stay off of all dairy. If he doesn't get better then I will have to go off all protein until we can figure out how his little body is handling protein. He suffers from reflux so he takes medication for that twice a day. With all of this he developed a bottle adversion. Basically he blames the bottle for all his ailments. It makes sense, if you don't eat you don't get pain. Problem with this is that eating is essential to life. He now weighs 7lbs, 7 oz and if he continues to improve they won't admit him and gavage feed him. (Tube feed.)

He is now sporting his NAM (Nasoalveolar Molding) device. It wasn't love at first sight that's for sure but now I call it his little friend. He plays with it and sucks on it when his soother isn't around. As you can see by the picture above it is held in place by elastics and tape running on his little cheeks. These tapes have to been pulled tight as to not cause little sores in his mouth. He had one little sore last week and again it must have been the bottle to do it. ;) So we had a few days with tough feeds. His NAM is adjusted each week and hopefully we only have to do this for 12 weeks.

He had another echo for his heart and everything came back really good. I am thankful for the blessings that Matthew has received and I don't forget who or what caused his heart to heal.

A Week of Firsts

Michael and Becca had their first day of grade 2 yesterday. Becca was so excited she woke me up at 5:00am and wanted to get dressed. I convinced her to let me sleep and she laid on the couch until it was time to get up. Michael was excited to get to see all of his friends and was jumping to get out the door to the bus stop. When the bus came they both got on without turning to wave goodbye. My eyes stung a bit until I saw Michael (who had landed the backseat of the bus) turn and wave with a huge smile on his face. They have have grown up so fast and I find it hard to believe that they are in grade 2.
The only one not excited about all of this was Daniel. He was so upset that his sister was heading off. He wanted to go to and put on a backpack and everything. He was quite the little shadow yesterday and he seemed to always be under my feet. I hope to get to my ward Mom & Tots this week so that he can play and have something to do.
Matthew today had his first trip to an operating room. It wasn't anything major, he had a mold taken of his cleft palate for the appliance they are putting in next week. So happy birthday buddy, you are two weeks old today and have already had your first fast. He wasn't too impressed with the whole fasting bit. His doctor told me he was so good and only cried while the "mud" was in his mouth. Than after that he just looked around and was checking everything out.

Welcome Home

Last week we warmly welcomed our fourth little baby into our family. We have named him Matthew and he sure has our family smitten with his strong, sweet spirit. He was born at 3:45pm and weighed in at 6lbs, 15oz. He was 19 inches long and has lots of black hair.

He came into the world taking care of business right from the start, he took his first pee just as he was getting his cord clamped. He was greeted by a pediatrician, two nurses, and a respiratory therapist who did everything under the sun to ensure our little Matthew was getting started in a positive way and it wasn't long until he was crying. After only a few minutes I got to do something the doctors told me not to expect, I got to hold him. There in a very frightening room was my little boy. I looked at this little blue eyed baby and my tears of relief and sure joy blurred much of that time but I will never forget that moment. I fell in love and my heart was burning and it hurt. My gratitude for answered prayers overwhelmed my body. I maybe only had him in my arms for a minute but that was all I needed. While in recovery nurses and doctors came and gave me updates. They wheeled my big long stretcher through the NICU where I saw my husband sitting in a chair holding our son. There were wires coming from the blanket and monitors showing his heart, oxygen, and breathing rates. I can't remember if I even had a chance to hold him again, but I did get to see him.
The rest of the day is a blur and I don't remember much except for nurses and my doctor coming and checking on me often. I was hemorrhaging and in so much pain. They pushed the drugs into my IV and it was until much later in the evening that I insisted they take me to Matthew. I spent the next three days being wheeled with an IV in tow back and forth from my room and the NICU. After day four I was discharged and was able to room in with Matthew for his final night. Coming home was amazing and it feels good to have everyone healthy and safe.

There isn't a second of the day that I don't thank God for his blessings. I am thankful for family and friends that fasted and prayed for our family and our Matthew. I am thankful for my faith, it is what keeps me going. I am grateful for my children and a husband who never ceases to amaze me. I am just grateful and my heart is full.

Zero

See that cute lady with the belly on the right hand side of the screen? What does it say...zero. Time is up and tomorrow my husband and I will be off to the hospital to welcome our new little boy. Tonight I have three beautiful children sleeping in their beds, and tomorrow one more beautiful little boy will be placed in my arms.

So with a very full heart, I thank all of those who have prayed and fasted on our behalf. I thank those who have been so gracious to offer meals and child care. Don't you all worry, I will be calling!

Baby Steps

I let the my 7.5 year old kids ride their bikes outside in the front without me today. I sat in the family room, watching them play and have a good time. I couldn't help but laugh at myself when my eyes filled with tears of joy and sadness. Where did my little twins go? I swear it was just yesterday that they took their first tiny steps. Now it seems like I'm the one taking the tiny steps of letting them grow up.

I am so proud of these two.

I'll take 3 please

Dear Magically Fairy;

If you could please grant these 3 wishes today, I promise not to ask for anymore for at least two days.

1. A really big, deep, self cleaning Hot Tub installed in a nice shady spot in my back yard filled with cool water.

2. Since I don't have any trees to provide that nice shady spot, please plant a large non-shedding tree for the the yard. (I don't want leaves in my water.)

3. A nice cabana boy/girl. It doesn't matter what he/she is just as long as it bring me cold drinks and clean my house.

Thanks;

A very pregnant lady.

It's the Rains Fault

The cooling effect of all this rain is going to do very bad things to my escalating weight. You see when it is hot, there isn't anyone that could convince me that turning on the oven would be a good idea. Now with the rain, my craving for baked goods has kicked into high gear and I am slowly giving into the idea that I need to take out an Apple Crisp from the freezer and pop that sucker in. After that my plan is to bake some buns, maybe some cinnamon buns. Cookies sound good to, oatmeal cookies so when it gets hot again I can put ice cream in the middle....hmmmm the possibilities are endless.

Over Stuffed

I've been catching up on some much needed mending. Nothing exciting, just some pant hems, replacing lost buttons, sewing up the occasional stuffy. I thought I had got it all done last night until today when Michael brought me his "Tiggie Wiggie". It's an old stuffy that he has been sleeping with for years. The poor beast has lost an eye and a few months ago Daniel took all the stuffing out of it's head. I was just hoping that we could toss it, no such luck. Michael now hides it up on his bunk bed and I barley ever see the thing.
After handing it to me I was quite surprised to see it's current condition. Let me tell you, is it stuffed and Michael is so proud on how good it feels. He is excited to have a button sewn on so it has two eyes again. When I asked him were he got the stuffing from Michael told me he found it under his bed. I knew that this had to be a tall tail as I threw out the mess of stuffy guts after Daniel got to it.
I didn't think to much of it until I went in his room to say prayers and kiss him goodnight.

The corner of Michael's pillow has a huge hole chewed out of the corner and it surprisingly is missing some of its fluff. Needless to say, he felt bad for lying and his parents have enjoyed a good laugh.

Monkey Business

Here we are under the three week mark until I can finally have this baby in my arms. I was so scared in the beginning and now everyday that he's "baking" I ache to have him here. I can't wait to have him in my arms safe, and where his doctors can rule out the bad and hopefully leave us with some good news.
Last Saturday Becca and I were playing with him when he turned himself around. It was painful but fun to share this with my daughter. She was laughing so hard that I didn't have time to really feel the effects of this monkey. However, I am sure that he used his feet against my "ahem" to launch this acrobatic maneuver.
My ultrasound this week went just as planned. He is hanging in there and still looks stable. I still have to go back every week and it helps my sanity to know he's okay. The amniotic fluid is holding so hopefully that won't be a problem again.
I had them take a look this week to make sure he hasn't wrapped himself in the umbilical cord. I haven't been able to sleep since Sunday when it dawned on me that he may be strangling himself will all this turning he's been doing. Lucky for him it doesn't seem to be around his neck.
He was able to out smart three techs and a doctor and wouldn't hold still long enough for them to get one of the heart measurements. I am sure that he has figured out the program and now just waits for them to start taking a good look at this ticker. It's kind of funny except the more he moves the harder the techs look. This means more time laying flat, more time they're pressing and pushing on my belly. The last two weeks I have had to take Tylenol just to get the muscle pain under control.

Two Angels

I had two angels come and watch my kids today. They are two young girls from my church who came and gave service to our family. They probably don't know just how much their little act of kindness meant, but knowing that I didn't have to burden the same people again this week was a blessing. They brought a race track for hot wheels and coloring pages. They fed them lunch and cleaned up the dishes afterward. They vacuumed up the crumbs left on the floor and took the kids into the backyard to play. They changed Daniel after he decided to climb into the splash pool with this clothes on. They were fun...they were my angels for the day.

Sit...now stay!

Another ultrasound has passed and with that, so has our little Monkey. Yes, that's what I call him. He is a little monkey and sometime since last week he has turned his little butt around and is now breech again. He must have done it the other night when he woke me up doing what I thought was harmless wiggling. I'm sure that he heard my OB last week comment on how he was just perfect with his position for his age. Head down and lowered into the pelvis. This little guy marches to the beat of his own drum and is now laying on his back looking out at the world. Getting a little sun maybe, who really knows what is going on in that little monkey brain of his. (The jokes on him, he's coming via c-section anyway. hehehe)
Everything looks good and again the doctor is very happy with how well this little one is liking life on the inside. He passed all the little tests and gave them a run for their money when it came to one of the heart tests. Just as the techs got close enough to the valve he would move causing them to search out it out again. Two techs later the doctor came in and was able to get it just after he said, "I think baby is telling us he's had enough." It was like the baby knew he was off the hook and stopped moving.
The amniotic fluid was up a bit today so the little one gets to stay put a little while longer, which is just fine with me. I am hot and miserable but he is safer on the "inside" for now.

Oh baby, I'm HOT!

I am currently in the process of trying to figure out how I can tape bags of ice under my clothes so that I can go to church without feeling like passing out. (Nice image right??) This heat has just about done me in and summer is only half way done. Being pregnant hasn't helped much but really I did the whole summer with Daniel and I don't remember feeling this yucky. Maybe that's just the thing, I don't remember.
I have enjoyed having the kids home and not running on a schedule. Michael still has his Taekwondo class during the summer but I really don't mind. It gives me an excuse not to cook some nights. ;) They have had a good time playing outside and playing in their splash pool. I am planning on taking the kids to a movie this week. Give us some time out of the house doing something fun for a change. Most time if we leave it's to run errands or go to a doctors appointment.
They baby is coming along. Initially there was no reason to take the baby early as long as he didn't show any signs of heart failure. I have been every two weeks for a complete ultrasound the past little while but they have now asked me to come every week. Not cause the heart is giving him trouble, but he is running low on amniotic fluid. If it gets any lower they are taking this little guy out. So really any day now he could be coming into this world and our really hectic life will begin. I am 34 weeks and not thrilled about the idea of having him come early. As hot as hotel mommy is, he needs to stay put. So I continue to pray that everything will come to pass as Heavenly Father sees fit.
As I was leaving the clinic the other day I could help but listen to a couple in the elevator talking about their good news. Their baby was healthy, their prayers had been answered.
There it was; the little angry voice inside me that rears it's ugly head once in a while. "Why not my prayers, where are my miracles?" I know the answer. I don't need to question, I have been blessed and will continue to be blessed. He hears and has answered my prayers. They just can't be the way I would like them to be. I would like my son to be born without all these problems and questions. I would like to know that he won't be assigned a syndrome or a genetic condition. What will be, will be. He is my son, mine to raise and watch over. For that I am grateful and can't wait for this family to be complete. I can't wait for my kids to meet their little brother who will need all the love and kisses they can give. I can't wait to see my husband take a nap with our new little man. I can't wait for first smiles, first coos, and all the other firsts.

My bags are packed...

Well not my bags but I did do the packing. I dropped my sweet little girl off at her Aunties house today to be taken up to Edmonton to see the Jonas Brothers in concert tonight. Her Grandpa bought all of his little granddaughter's a ticket to see them and my sister was the lucky one chosen to be the parent to take all 7 kids by herself. Afterwards Rebecca will be heading out to the trailer with her Grandparents for a few days. It is pitiful how much crying I have done today. I can't believe that my little girl is going to her first concert and that she will be away from my until Sunday. I can't wait to talk to her tonight and hear all about the concert. She has floor tickets so I'm hoping she won't get trampled!

My boys have been fighting over the one and only Bumblebee transformer in the the house. We have others but they are not the same as Bumblebee. So last night after listening to a week of crying I bought Daniel his very own. The peace that over swept the house was amazing. Both boys are content and they have spent the day playing together without fighting. It has been the best $14 I have spent in a long time.

Our ultrasound went well earlier this week. Our little gift is happy as a clam and still is scoring high on the apgar test. He is showing no signs of heart failure and his heart is still going strong. I got to see his sweet little face, he did have his hands in the way but he was kind enough to move them a bit so we could see part of his cleft. He is weighing about 4.5 lbs and looks good. I am anticipating his birth so that we can iron out the remaining questions surrounding his health. I still continually pray/beg for miracles. I'm not being greedy. I know that some of his problems won't magically disappear but I am hoping that they well be better that what they predict.

I saw my doctor today and I am doing well. They seem to be surprised that my blood pressure is creeping up. It seems like a no brainer to me. My kids are out of school, my little girl just left me for a few days, the baby we're expecting is sick, our vacuum broke, our dryer broke, our brakes in the car need to be done, it's hot... I could go on and on. I think I deserve a little high blood pressure. (Oh, and its not that bad. 128/89)

Noise

My house has been filled with the laughter of all three kids since Thursday. It has been so nice to have them home and enjoying being here. Daniel is in his glory cause his big brother and sister are here to entertain him. Michael builds space ships out of his Lego, one for him and one for Daniel. I can't help but fall into a puddle of mush watching these two boys play. They are so much alike and it is hard to believe that we will be adding another little man into this family. Rebecca is my light. She is such a big helper and begs to do things around the house for me. She cleans the front closet, arranging all the shoes nicely. She likes to cut the vegetables up for supper. She helps me put away the laundry and even changed Daniel's clothes and diaper for me. I am sure that this won't last forever, but for now I am grateful.

I am heading off for another ultrasound tomorrow. I am excited cause my sister who is due three weeks before me is having one done just before me. I am so excited for her and her family to be welcoming this little lady into their home. She is such a good mom to her boys and their new addition will be so loved by her older brothers.

My ultrasound is basically to monitor the baby for signs of heart failure and to make sure that our little gift is happy and enjoying his time in hotel mommy. We met with the Dr's at the hospital and they told us what to expect after he is born. His name should be Charlie cause he is holding a Golden Ticket into the NICU. Hopefully his stay will be rather uneventful and that he will be able to come home quickly.

Cheeky Monkey

It had been a while since I washed the bed spread on Daniel's bed so I took it off and put it in the laundry basket which Cesar was to take down for me. Later in the evening Daniel waked past the basket and precedes to give me what for. He apparently didn't think that it needed cleaning and took it back to his bed and made it. He came back to the bonus room and when I stood up telling him it need to be washed he blocked the hallway and said, "Your gonna have to cross da bridge". Both Cesar and I cracked up as this little 24 lb, almost three year old boy was being as cheeky as he could be.

Practice Makes Perfect

Little gift was really working out yesterday at the ultrasound. He is working so hard at learning and practicing to breath. It made the tech laugh so hard that she had to look away. She was trying to do a fetal echocardiogram and she kept getting distracted by his little belly pulsating so much. It was like he was in there showing all the neat things he was able to do. We even were able to watch his little lips open up and take in the fluid. He looked like a little fish. It was fun and great to be able to interact with him. He is about 3.5 lbs and has a little fat on his cheeks. He didn't put up his fists this time but he did make sure that he poked out his little chest and we were able to get a "textbook" fetal echocardiogram.
He still has a small hole in his heart, it's not causing to much of a concern for now but the valve that is leaking is allow quite a bit of blood to back flow. So with that we are to head in for an ultrasound every other week for the next little while. They would like to monitor this little fellow for signs of heart failure and fetal stress. Hubby and I also get to meet with the team of Neonatologists and NICU Nurses next week at the hospital to discuss more about his birth.
If all goes well we can still deliver at the hospital closest to my home. If things happen to change and he needs to come earlier that Aug 18th we will have to deliver at the hospital across town.
I hope that he comes out kicking and screaming and ready to take on the world. I hope that he keeps doing all he can to strengthen his lungs and become overly prepared for his grand entrance, which I hope not to be all that grand.

Seeking Perfection

If you look up the definition of perfect you will find this:

Perfect:
-entirely without any flaws, defects, or shortcomings.
-accurate, exact, or correct in every detail.

I have thought, pondered, and asked my Heavenly Father to help me better understand His definition of perfect.
I have so many fears that bring utter despair into my heart. I can't and won't explain them for the biggest fear is that they might come true. I have been blessed, really blessed. I will have had 18 weeks to prepare my heart and to build up strength for his arrival. Some Mothers don't know until their dreams are shattered in a delivery room.

I keep searching and reading wonderful blogs and sites dedicated to wonderful, perfect children. I am thankful for the pictures and the words Mothers share. They bring me much more than they could ever know.

Here, I now set a new definition of perfect. It is a spirit that without having the ability to fully understand physical pain has chosen to remain faithful to Heavenly Fathers plan. It is a child born with a broken heart. It is a spirit that knows that no matter how they try will never be able to say I Love You. It is a spirit that will never take a breath. It is a child born with "defects".

There isn't a "defect" that will ever change my definition. They are all perfect.

Poem for Emily by Jacqueline Dooley

I thought of the minutes before
they said something was wrong,
when all was perfection
and I’d expected
the world
would let me be lucky
a bit longer.
But this is not my misfortune,
though I weep like it is.
No, this is not my misfortune
I’ll remind myself
when I imagine your face
how I wanted it to be.
Whole, in the gentle light
of the birthing room.
I’m so sorry for that false vision
that comes even now
as I learn to love the beauty
of your true face.
When the light hits your face
in four months
we’ll all realize
a new definition of perfect.

Driving Hazzards

Driving my van around the city with my three kids in the back usually goes without any problems. We go to and from the school, bus stop, trailer, ballet, taekwondo, and to do our many errands. Today was no exception. We got to Taekwondo without any problems and while Michael was doing his class I headed to the area Subway for a tasty pizza sub loaded with jalapenos. This happens to be the tastiest thing I have had in quite sometime and I can't get enough of them. Maybe it's the nitrates, cause they have the same effect on me as my ever coveted 7-11 hot dogs.
On the way home I got the strongest indigestion I have yet to experience. No it didn't come from the food, it was my two 7 year olds in the back of the van. My sweet little innocent Becca asked me, "Mom what is puck"? I couldn't believe my what my ears were hearing from my little lady. It was then Michael who joined in and said "Ya Mom, what does puck mean". So I explained that this wasn't a nice word and it was a swear word that we should never use. ( I am sure that it goes without saying that the word wasn't puck, but another four letter word.) I told them that it didn't really mean anything and people who use bad words say it. I asked where they had heard it and sure enough, it was at school. I told them how happy I was that they asked me what a word ment before they started using it and now that they know what it means they arn't to say it. Becca was sure surprised that it was even a "badder" word that stupid or shut up.
I wasn't and still not prepared for my kids to start to loose that innocence that I have tried to protect them from.
Needless to say, I still have the indigestion.

Baby Steps

I have posted ultrasound pictures on Facebook however I have left out this one. Here is a picture that shows our babies bilateral cleft lip. I am still having a hard time with all of this but there are more good days than bad ones. I'm taking baby steps. People and friends are finding out and it is hard to answer people when they ask how the baby is doing. I never know if they have heard the "gossip" or if they are just asking to be nice. It doesn't make a difference, he is fine. He is a normal little baby with a few extra heart sounds and a lip/mouth that did quite get enough time to fuse together. We have another ultrasound next week so hopefully we will get some good news and get a few more pictures.

Keep in mind he is 23 weeks at this point and I apologise that he is laying sideways. I tried to rotate the picture but it distorted it and made it look all wrong. So turn your head, go on. Cute eh? Okay the big black space is filled with his big wonderful brain. The two eye spaces do have eyeballs in them, trust me. I saw that during my last ultrasound and it was more creepy than the empty look. If you look at the bottom of his face you can see his chin. In between the eyes and the chin you can see his little nose and then his lips. From the upper lip to his nose are two dark lines that run up his face. This would be his bilateral cleft. The big large "ball" at the bottom (or right) of the face is his belly. His little fists are close to his chin and he is giving us the evil eye for spying on him and taking a look at this man bits.

So put up your dukes, this ones a real fighter.

Whats worse than a...

two year old. Very simple, a three year old.
Yesterday someone took my sweet, easy going little two year old and replaced him with someone I couldn't and wouldn't recognize. On a normal day we take the twins to the bus stop and head home where he eats his breakfast. I turn on the cartoons and he enjoys his usually Barney and Curious George. I can take this time to get in a shower, clean up the kitchen and even take a nap if needed. He is good and plays toys or comes and asks me for a cuddle.
However this day he ate very little than headed into his room and was playing with "toys". I sat at the computer to check up on some emails and do a little banking. After that I sat on the couch and was getting ready to read up on this coming week of pregnancy when Daniel comes up from downstairs. He shows me his hands and tells me he's cooking. There on his shinny little fingers were some bits of egg shells. I head down to find that he has his small cup overflowing of raw eggs. I get the cloth and start to clean up the 8 or 9 eggs broken on the coffee table and dumped into the cup. He asks me where the baby birds are and we had a little talk reminding him not to go into the fridge. (I am sure that this went in one ear and out the other, he is two.) I tell him that Mommy needs to cook the eggs before he eats them and he simply states that they were yummy. So, raw eggs for breakfast is what he wanted I guess.
We head back up stairs and I start heading into my room to take a shower when I see three cleaning bottles on the floor. I head into his room where I find the remainder of the cleaning bucket emptied and clue in that it wasn't Michael's toys he was playing with. It was the toilet brush. Calmly I call my wonderful husband and kindly remind him that if he takes out the cleaning bucket, he's to put it away. (Oh, I'm not just making this sound nice...I was calm.) Now that both of little Daniel's parents are grossed out, I lock him in the bedroom with me while I take a very quick shower. I come out and he has lotion all over himself, his PJ's, my bed, my pillow. He tells me with the look of full pride on his sweet face, look Mum...legs all better. I'm not sure what was wrong in the first place but the fact the he fixed them made his day. How could I shout at that? We dressed and the two of us headed out the door. I figured we were both safer in the car than left to survive in the house.

After coming home his day continued. He hid the remote to the TV. He threw his food all over the place at supper. He drew on the walls again. He helped me with his clothes. (aka: Took out every piece of clothing from his dresser drawers.)

At this point Dad came home, Mom was saved.

The clock is ticking

Have a short work and school week has been so nice and was really welcomed by me! I am getting super excited for the end of school to come so that I can spend more time with Michael and Becca. As exciting as school is I really do miss them. Daniel has been talking up a storm lately, he's so cute. I love how he is growing up and becoming such a little boy.
I have found that I have wanted to spend more time with my three kids. I am sure that it's cause I know that once the new little man comes things will change. We have our delivery date and time. I was shocked to find out my OB had already booked this. I also had my first call from the Children's Hospital today. It's weird knowing that I am going in to talk about a little person that I have yet to officially meet. We know each other from the kicks and stretches, but I feel awkward making decisions for him already. I can't believe that I only have 13 weeks left, boy time seems to be flying by me. I may come to regret saying this when there is only two weeks to go...

An Unwanted Membership

I can't tell you how many times over the last few week I have sat down to write in my paper journal or type this post. I couldn't bring myself to do it. You see, I was given a membership into a Mommy club that no Mother wants to be in. The fees and dues to his club are high and I don't know if I can afford to make these payments.

I never thought I would be sitting in a room with a Doctor who would tell me that I was too far along in my pregnancy to terminate it, but there I was. Our little boy has a few health issues that will require monitoring over then next 15 weeks. Two of those issues will not go away. He has a severe bilateral cleft lip. This is when the lip doesn't fully grow and fuse together during the first trimester. In addition to that he has a cleft palate. This one is harder to determine the severity until he is born but we have been told what to expect. Your palate is what separates the mouth from the nasal cavity. This will cause great feeding concerns for our baby as he may not be able to swallow. The next two problems deal with his heart. He has a small hole and a valve that leaks. Both of these things are small at the present time and they will be monitored to see that they don't grow as he does.

So there it is, for the world to see. My baby already has a full blown medical chart and his arrival into this world will be welcomed by a team of doctors who will try to make his life a little better, a little easier. We will spend many hours at the hospital, clinics, and labs. Then when the doctors tell me he is strong enough, I will hand him over to them and trust that the doctors will hand him back to me.

I have wondered a lot lately, am I strong enough? This all seems like a really bad dream I am am still waiting to wake up...

How big is your backside?

Daniel has been really into trains lately. We took him to the model train show and he was so excited to see every single display. He has been playing with a small train around the house and is insist on taking it everywhere with us.
Yesterday while playing in the backyard with the older kids he would put the train on the slide and watch it go down. After awhile I had the kids come in and got them ready for bed. I was getting myself changed when Daniel comes running into my room. "Mum, train in my backside!" I could help laugh cause I was always under the impression there was a train or something of that size in my backside.
We ventured outside and rescued his train. I wonder who will rescue mine?

It's a Boy.

I am very excited to share that our newest addition will be a little boy. Many of you already know this but I thought it was time to update this blog. We don't typically name our babies until after they are born so he doesn't have a name yet. I have a few that I like but hubby and I don't usually agree before hand. The twins were fairly easy to name however Daniel was almost a week old before he had one. So here I sit at least trying to come up with a nickname. Its what I call them while they are still growing and sharing my space. Becca was always just Baby A or sometimes Baby Angry cause she didn't share with us what she was until her birthday. She would always just stay to herself. It was hard to get to know her before she was born. Michael was called my little buddy. He was always so playful with me and we had a good time interacting. Daniel was very active while he was in hotel mommy. He soon became known as the monster. Even now if you ask him if he's a monster be prepared for the best little growl any little kid can muster.
Now for this baby. This pregnancy was a bit of a surprise for us, and we found out about his existence the day after Christmas. For so many reasons I will nickname him my little gift. You see my little gift is going to enter this life with many challenges to face. I will share more details when I am able to do so. This is all so new to me that I am just taking day by day. Mean while I get to see him often through ultrasounds and he is quite the character. He hides his face with his little hands, and will flip his little legs up and look like he's doing a pike high dive. What a boy, I'm glad he takes the time to show off for me and the doctors.

Time really does fly

I can't believe that we are almost through April. My twins turned 7 a few weeks back and I am still trying to cope with the fact they are growing up. They have become so independent and will even go and fix their own breakfast. Some days I will come downstairs and all three kids will have PB&J sandwiches.
We had a good time on our holiday last month, we stowed away in my parents RV and went to Palm Springs and then DISNEYLAND! I was so excited to be able to take my kids. Okay who's kidding who, I was so excited to be able to get there myself for the first time ever. It was a break that was much needed for me and the kids, but I was glad to get back home. 20 days away can make one long for her own space. (Remember, we were in an RV.)
We are all doing well and I am starting to get used to the fact that we will be adding another baby in the summer. I am half way done and doing...well. I have a bit of high blood pressure and don't feel the baby. I thought I was a few weeks back, but now that I am almost 21 weeks nope. Baby must be hiding in some little crawl space. We found out what we were having last week but that will have to wait until I share the details with my family.

The things Mothers will do.

We are planning a trip. This includes a very expensive excursion for the kids; meaning that I have been doing odd jobs this month to pay for this. This past weekend had me heading out on Saturday night to clean and wax some floors for one of our contracts. I was working with my Dad so it wasn't too labor intensive. I basically crawled around on my hands and knees cleaning out all the corners and tight spaces we couldn't get while standing. Knowing that Saturday would be busy for me, I planned my day around a late afternoon nap in order to keep my eyes peeled open past 6pm. The only thing I didn't plan on was waking up with a really sore throat and swollen glands that made my neck look really, really funny. To top it off I still am getting sick and Saturday morning was one of those morning I tried not to let my family hear me puking my guts out. Non the less I was going to get this work done...our family really would like to do this little holiday.
Here comes the part where the pregnant lady (me) kisses her kids and hubby goodbye at 5:30pm to head to the local Wendy's for a pop. More specifically a diet coke. I don't drink regular pop, haven't for years. I figure I would try my luck at a chicken sandwich and headed off to work. I pull away, feeling not too bad until I taste my drink. Regular coke. The tears poured out of my head. I cried and cried until I spotted a McDonald's. I cleaned off my tears and choked out a simple order of a diet coke, asking them to please make sure it's diet, I say. Guess what not diet. At this point with tears free flowing again I know that I can't go in and ask for them to replace it cause really who cries over things like this? Well, I this pregnant woman does.
After it was all said and done, I couldn't eat the sandwich and didn't have a pop.

Becca vs. Chef Ramsay

Anyone who watches the food network I am sure has seen the previews for the television show "The F Word". Well my Becca sure has and does she ever have a few things that she would like to say to Chef Gordon Ramsay. On one of the commercials he is talking to some women about how they can't cook scrambled eggs. This has set off my little lady and she informed me the other day with all the passion she could muster that if "Chef Ramsay came and told you that he didn't like your eggs, I would tell him that you make the best scrambled eggs and that they are my favorite. I don't think he's very nice and if he came here I would tell him that".

So take that Gordon Ramsay, you've been told off by my best critic.